I just dont know how to show it....

varsha was always a very dear friend.. someone i always looked upto.. so was adi... somewhere in due course of time, i stopped calling them or spending time with them because of my commitments and other things.. when everything is coming to an end.. i deeply regret it...

i miss them already

i didnt even meet adi before he left.. didnt even call him

i hardly ever meet or call varsha.. even when i know that she is here for only 10-12 more days

i call on or meet my friends only when am in distress or 'totally' free

NOW i feel am being wrong

i am already missing everybody
the biggest example is Reddy.. i never ever meet him.. we only hook up online.. he is a very very good friend.. one of those who are there even before i shout out their names.. BUT... i missed out on a lot....

you know the only satisfaction i have right now is that i was more of an online buddy to adi and reddy.. and it can continue that way

but i regret the time that i didnt spend with them
the distance and priorities will make a difference

there is a very strange way my mind works..

if i know that something is going to hurt me, i just de-attach myself from it...
the same happened in gunjan's case

i had the urge to call her everyday

but it wud make me all the more sad

so i killed the urge

i dont talk to her becoz it makes me aware of the distance between us
i just know she is there and its enuf for me

there are somethings i cant show.. i just run away from things that make me weak, make me sad... but it doesnt mean i dont care, i dont hurt... I just dont know how to show it.....

Will I really??

Am i really going to start a gardening blog..?

I think and plan against it... Its gonna take up all my time... If i start, i wont ever be able to stop.... So never doing it.. F.U.L.L.S.T.O.P.

But my free advice is always free...