Paranoia!!

have you ever lost everything?

its the feeling of bitter truth consummating in a hell-o-dread yet so again.. is it all coming back to me? its the constricting feeling of blood stomping to gush in your veins, the paranoiac attack of having repeated a blunder again, the condemnation of the soul that exists in your yet so lifeless a body gone waste, its the dread-o-Archy of the things blown right through your face..

well in simpler words, I'll miss you loads..

I'll miss the times we fought and re-made, the times we completed sentences for the other, the times we understood without being told, the times we did the untold.. I'll miss the little stupid games, the daily night fights, the whispering into the phone, the wait for the call after a regular fight, the unending wait of the first day of college, the bickering over nails, the stupid little casual grains..

I'll miss the one who gave me the biggest happiness, the biggest source of inspiration in my life, the best gift i ever got... I'll miss the memories that could and would have been..

I'm sorry i took you so for-granted.. I'm sorry that i couldn't understand the very basics of life.. I'm sorry i stooped down to the level of comparing things materialistic.. I'm sorry i undid everything..

I'm sorry that i didn't learn from my mistakes...

I take a small break from this place dear visitors.. I'll be back here to write when i have recollected myself, forgiven myself for what i did (intentionally?), when i have gotten over this paranoia!

I'll be fine someday soon..

I'll be here then.. Its not easy losing your closest two friends who have always competed silently for THE position in your life, in the same second, in simultaneous chat windows, for practically the same reason, with the same deafening effect on my numb going life...

I'll be fine...

No more sayonaras today..

Its a goodbye dearies!
A teary farewell to you both..