Numbed..

It feels like I've gone back in time.. I clearly distinctly remember the message that gunjan sent to me.. She was going to moscow for 6 long years to study medicine.. I had tried every possible way of convincing her to stay back.. She did go.. I was rendered hollow, completely empty from inside, I took a hatred for emotions.. I put on a face that said, stay away, i dont care.. I was weary of making friends,i was hell scared of hurting myself again.. Then why did you come into my life.. I was doing fine without you.. I was okay with gunjan being away. She at least comes back once an year.. And she'll stay here after her course gets completed.. You put me back where I never wanted to go.. I hate being lonely.. I hate being weak.. I hate giving up on people I love.. Just like with gunjan I can't ask you not to go.. Its for the good and am not a fool to stop you.. I know you'll never come back and that is what scares me..

The first time it happened it wasn't this tough.. But this time I don't have the strength.. I pledge,i'll never make a friend again.. If its this painful every time, I don't want to take the risk..

I wish,against the better of my judgement, that we keep meeting in life.. I wish that this is not the end..

I wish for strength..

There is another strange thought in my mind, its a strange co-incidence.. Is it all linked with his going away.. 3 years back, he left and gunjan moved away within days.. He left sometime back.. And now you are leaving?

Life is never going to be the same again.. A message at 11.40 yesterday night, changed my life FOREVER..

Is it really happening?

Wake me up.. This is not my idea of a good dream..