Mumbai..

I had a problem accepting the fact that 'I' missed Mumbai!

Here, is my defence.

I have been born and brought up in Delhi, have loved the city for as long as remember. My entire family- first and extended is here. For 20 years of my life I hadn't thought of a new abode. And then Ahmedabad happened. The serene city let me be. It let me be who I was. It helped me go deeper into the shell that I move around with. It helped me become more reclusive. It helped me stay comfortable in the space that I had created for myself. It let me nurture my dreams. It just let me be.

Ahmedabad to Mumbai was a swift transition. Even more swift was how my life changed. From a city that helped me retrospect and think and take my time, I found myself in a place where people had to borrow time to even breathe.

Mumbai pushed me; it stretched me beyond my limits. It made me do things I had never done before. It roughly dragged me out of my shell and put me in the same line as thousands of other cut throat competitors. There was no end to how much I got pushed and jolted... and then came a day when i gave up. I couldn't run that rat race anymore. I couldn't be just another one in that crowd anymore.

I packed my bags and came back to the safer havens... Delhi. I knew everyone here. I knew my way.  I didn't feel like the nomadic crowd. This city never pushed me to the edge. I returned back to the shell that I thought I had misplaced in the crowded locals of the millennium city.

Isn't it strange that I now miss Mumbai? 

Indeed. I felt the same. One day I woke up missing Mumbai. No. not the people. not the weather. Not the roads. The entire city. The essence of the city, the feel. I missed the thought that is christened Mumbai.

I miss the freedom it gave me. In the way I dressed, in the way I spoke, in whom I met, in where I went, and most of all the freedom to be without being.

The city gave me the space to be an individual. Yet it didn't let me retrospect. It always kept me on my toes. It never let me be in my shell. It kept nudging me out of it. It kept pushing my boundaries a little further away every day. It helped me move out of that restrictive space around me and helped me grow. Mature. Learn. 

It helped me know new people without having to carry the baggage of judging them. It helped me experiment with my ways in life without feeling too guilty about the society. It helped me do things I always only dreamt of, it let me dream more every other day.

If Ahmedabad gave me feet, Mumbai gave them pace.