Everything is perfect. You like the same TV shows, your ideas of health, hygiene, activity, exercise and nutrition are the same. You love, cuddle, small talk, have conversations, go out, have dinners, watch movies together, have the same set of friends you both love to meet. You laugh, you cry, you share, you despair, you fight, you crib, you bitch, you twitch. You all of that together. Yet, there is a loneliness, an awkwardness. There is hurt and there is resentment.
Would you walk out of an otherwise loving relationship where everything else is perfect?
This is the Black Rose Paradox.
In a beautiful garden, or a well laid out eye pleasing bouquet, there pops up a black rose. The tiny little shining thing is a marvel in itself. It's a priceless, unique and evasive to the common man. Yet, in the larger frame of things, its an eye sore. It's that small speck of someone's wish which deflates the bubble of joy. It's the same for human relations.
Walk up to someone and tell them you hate a black rose, and the quizzical, surprised, astonished reactions you'll get will be hard to bear. Talk to the gardener or the florist who put it in, and they'll point out how everything else is perfect. And how the black rose you are getting is far more than what you bargained for. It's the same in life situations.
But then, why would I buy a skirt, I don't like, because it is the winner at the season's fashion week. Why would I buy a diamond when i neither like the stone nor the setting in which it has come to me. As humans, we all have our own likes, preferences, demands and visions.
All this gets complicated when you are not the only when taking a decision. Imagine buying a TV for the house. You need something with a pause and play functionality, whereas your husband needs something that can support his gaming systems. You settle for something that either makes one of you happy or makes the both of you content. in any case, on of you either feels that they spent more than what was required or feels short-changed for not getting what they wanted.
This black rose is a reality of all our lives. As kids, we give in to dreams of our parents. As parents, we give in to needs and requirements of our kids. As spouses, we do this all the time. As adults, we give in to demands of our ageing parents. As ageing parents, we give into constraints of an earning child.
The paradox stows its head up, when the same person in the exchange keeps getting the black rose. The gardener will never realize. Neither will the florist ever. They are doing more than they ought to. But the receiver is stifled. It's getting harder to breathe every minute. It's time to crush the black rose.
The gardener will abuse, the florist will call you a fool. But you know what, you just couldn't care less.
Would you walk out of an otherwise loving relationship where everything else is perfect?
This is the Black Rose Paradox.
In a beautiful garden, or a well laid out eye pleasing bouquet, there pops up a black rose. The tiny little shining thing is a marvel in itself. It's a priceless, unique and evasive to the common man. Yet, in the larger frame of things, its an eye sore. It's that small speck of someone's wish which deflates the bubble of joy. It's the same for human relations.
Walk up to someone and tell them you hate a black rose, and the quizzical, surprised, astonished reactions you'll get will be hard to bear. Talk to the gardener or the florist who put it in, and they'll point out how everything else is perfect. And how the black rose you are getting is far more than what you bargained for. It's the same in life situations.
But then, why would I buy a skirt, I don't like, because it is the winner at the season's fashion week. Why would I buy a diamond when i neither like the stone nor the setting in which it has come to me. As humans, we all have our own likes, preferences, demands and visions.
All this gets complicated when you are not the only when taking a decision. Imagine buying a TV for the house. You need something with a pause and play functionality, whereas your husband needs something that can support his gaming systems. You settle for something that either makes one of you happy or makes the both of you content. in any case, on of you either feels that they spent more than what was required or feels short-changed for not getting what they wanted.
This black rose is a reality of all our lives. As kids, we give in to dreams of our parents. As parents, we give in to needs and requirements of our kids. As spouses, we do this all the time. As adults, we give in to demands of our ageing parents. As ageing parents, we give into constraints of an earning child.
The paradox stows its head up, when the same person in the exchange keeps getting the black rose. The gardener will never realize. Neither will the florist ever. They are doing more than they ought to. But the receiver is stifled. It's getting harder to breathe every minute. It's time to crush the black rose.
The gardener will abuse, the florist will call you a fool. But you know what, you just couldn't care less.
